SWEET SORROW
by monkeys-love-nanners
Summary: What if the pain of Edward leaving was too much? What if Bella commited suicide? Dark. Character Death? Read and Review my other stories too!
1. Chapter 1

**I DON'T OWN ANYTHING! STEPHENIE MEYER DOES!**

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**What should I live for?**

**I asked myself that question everyday. Ever since he left, I'm just a hollow shell. Jake tries so hard to help me, but he cant. He never will be able to help me. I'm too far gone.**

**And with that thought, everything became clear.**

**Death. I could escape this all with one flick of a knife, one snap of the wrist with poison in the palm. One fall; and blackness would comfort me.**

**Charlie can take care of himself now that he has Sue, and Renee has Phil. Nobody would care, and if they did, they would forget. I'm not really that special, just like he said.**

**I wanted my suicide to be painful yet peaceful. I looked out the window and saw that their was raindrops beginning to fall. I looked to my left, and saw a blade from broken scissors. Perfect. I will die in the rain. **

**I grabbed the blade swiftly and rain out the door. I headed for the woods and once I got their I wandered aimlessly. **

**Thoughts swam through my head while I was walking in the mud.**

**Why were the scissors broken?**

**Did the other blade not want the one I'm carrying right now?**

**And now the blades that have separated are useless. Was HE useless like me? No, no, no he couldn't be. Probably out enjoying his distractions.**

**After about an hour of walking, I laid my head on a log and my body on the forest floor.**

**I looked at the sky briefly and then at the shining blade. The blade that would soon be covered in crimson. My crimson regret and hurt.**

**I picked up the blade with shaking hands, and then I heard a velvet voice in my head. I smiled.**

"**Bella, please, don't do this. To me. To us."**

_**You left me, remember? Not the other way around. **_**I whispered this. Afraid of the illusion going away.**

"**No." the voice was just a quiet breeze in the wind.**

**I put the blade directly over the pulsing vein on my wrist and slit. And at that moment two things happened.**

**A pink line appeared followed by**__**red blood and Edward came through the trees looking slightly crazed.**

"**BELLA! NO!"**

**This wasn't an illusion. I knew. I knew he would try to stop me. Stop me from my sweet sorrow. Stop me from my pain.**

**I quickly used the blade on the other wrist before he snatched it from my hands and through it 15 miles into the woods in another direction.**

**Blood was pouring hot and fast through my chilling body.**

"**BELLA PLEASE! Stay with me! NOO! Bella no, no, no, NO!" his teeth went to my neck but I shook my head.**

"**No. Edward, don't."**

"**Why?! Bella I have to or you'll die. I cant live without you." his dark eyes blazed into mine.**

"**That's what I want. To die.", I could feel myself drifting into darkness. "I wont let you do something out of guilt."**

**And then my mind was black. But not before I heard a velvet howl.**

**REVIEW PLEASE! I MIGHT PUT UP EDWARDS POV IF I GET ATLEAST 10 REVIEWS! GREEDY BUT THAT'S THE DEAL!!**

**- MONKEYS-LOVE-NANNERS**


	2. Chapter 2

EDWARDS POV!!!!

I am currently running. as fast as I can, trying to beat Bella's fate of death. Death and Bella shouldn't be in the same sentence. Too painful. Like the lies I told her when I left for her protection. She believed me so easily, almost as if she was expecting it; that day _love, life. _Meaning over.

I pushed myself faster, I was now rounding the woods in Fork's and I could smell Bella's hypnotizing scent. Stronger than what I wanted it to smell like. I could faintly hear her voice.

"You left me remember? Not the other way around." her deep voice full of pain whispered. The blood became stronger. This was probably only the first time I was repulsed by the smell of her blood.

I entered the clearing and I saw her just in time to make another deep wound with the wretched blade on her pale wrist. My heart lurched forward.

"BELLA!NO!" I bellowed in fear. I couldn't stop her, but I could change her. I'm too selfish to live without her; vampirism would e the last choice for my Bella. But she wasn't mine. I hope I could gain her forgiveness.

Liquid crimson was flowing fast out of my love's body. I could hear her heartbeat becoming more and more slow and unsteady with each passing second. No!

"BELLA PLEASE! STAY WITH ME!" I continued a rant like that until her heartbeat was struggling to keep beating. I had to change her or she would die. I put my venomous teeth to her neck, but she shook her head.

"No, Edward. Don't." her frail voice whispered.

"Why?! Bella I have to or you'll die. I cant live without you." I said the truth.

"That's what I want. To die. I wont let you do something out of guilt." then her heart stopped, and I did the two things.

Let out a roar of panic and pain.

And put my teeth to her neck and bit.

**********************8

**OKAY. YES. PRETTY SHORT. I JUST WROTE THIS BY ACCIDENT AND THEN I ADDED A FEW THINGS AND DECIDED I COULD PUT THIS UP FOR SWEET SORROW. I KNOW I ASKED FOR TEN REVIEWS, BUT THIS WAS JUST TOO DELICIOUS I HAD TO POST IT. ****J CHAPTERS WILL BE LONGER. THE MORE REVIEWS I GET, THE LONGER EACH CHAPTER WILL BE.**

**OFF TRACK, I LEARNED A NEW SONG TODAY. ITS CALLED THE WHEESNAW SONG!!( WEE-SNAW-) DUH! ITS HILARIOUS!**

**PLEASE READ MY OTHER STORIES TOO! I NEED MIGHT HELP WITH NOT DEAD BUT NOT GONE!!**

**LOVE TO ALL MY READERS**

**MONKEYS-LOVE-NANNERS.J**


	3. Chapter 3

I OWN NOTHING! MRS. MEYER IS THE GENIUS HERE!

KEEP READING MY WORMIES! GO ON! GO ON!

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_And then my mind went black. But not before I heard a velvet howl._

Black comforted me. And then a hot, blazing pain accompanied it shortly after.

My_ body!_ Its on fire; I remember this feeling- from when James bit me. I quickly cleared the thought out of my head. The only other vampire here was Edward, but he must of bit me anyway out of strong guilt. He probably regrets it now, I thought. I'm nothing special.

Another round of pain coursed through my body, and I fought back a scream; not wanting to show weakness. I could feel wind in my air and on my face, so Edward must be trying to dump me somewhere, so he wont have to see my face. But a little voice inside my head told me he cared; that he loved me…I pushed away that thought.

Every movement he made or I made effected the pain. Multiplied it by infinity plus one. The burning, acidic pain was coursing through my empty veins- once filled of blood, but now empty- and caused me to, once again, fade into a peaceful sleep.

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"Alice, when will she wake up?" a velvet voice asked, filled with panic, excitement, and love. Love? I must be losing my mind.

"Three minutes, 23 seconds. I wouldn't doubt she could hear you know." Alice's pixie voice assured him.

I heard soft pitter-patters of feet leave the room, to light for any male so it must have been Alice. The pain in my body was slowly leaving my limbs and traveling to my chest.

"Bella, love. I know you can hear me, so please listen. Bella, I love you with every fiber of my being. That day…in the forest," his voice trailed off and then became louder. The pain was dulling, but heated in my chest. "that day…was all lies. I only did it for protection, but I can see now that that was just one big mistake. And then you started hanging out with wolves!", he sighed "My little danger magnet. Please be mine again. I'll spend forever and eternity showing you how much I love you. Give me one more chance, I cant lose you." and with those last words, my heart gave one more pain filled beat, and it stopped.

I knew Edward must be saying all of this out of guilt. My heart wanted to believe it, but my mind told me just liked hurting me. With his lies. I decided I would leave immediately. Put Edward out of taking any responsibility in me. I would just be a waste of space. Sigh..

I got out up quickly from the couch I was laying on and ran for an exit. It turns out I was in the Cullen mansion. Maybe Edward still cared a little bit for me- seeing as how I was his first love. My new sense of smell told me six people were in the house. That was all I got to see and hear before I was out the door and I heard people calling after me. The loudest were Edward's, Alice's and Esme. The most painful-Edwards. I will always love him for all of eternity.

I don't see why everybody wants me back now. Probably because I'm immortal now or some other silly reason. New topic.

I knew I was a newborn, and I knew that I needed to stay away from humans, I didn't want to be a monster who took innocent people's lives. If I strained my ears, I could hear seven pairs of feet chasing after me. And then I smelled a completely disgusting scent. I was so disgusted by it, I had to find out what it was.

I ran in the direction to it. It was a human. Bleeding. A small paper cut, nothing too serious. It was absolutely repulsive. I ran away from it, my nose not being able to handle the smell.

I ran into Edward, and he locked his arms around me with such strength, I couldn't get out of his arms. He looked at me with awe. Pure awe and amazement on his face.

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Edwards POV

I saw all of the changes. The beauty of her face multiplied (if even thought that was possible) and even through all of the bloodlust, she would still be the same Bella I loved. Hopefully she loved me too.

Jasper was gone, due to most of the transformation, from the emotion and physical pain radiating off of Bella. Alice did want to go with him, but she said she cana only see Bell change _once_ and she wanted to see it badly.

My impatience got the best of me.

"Alice when is she going to wake up?"

She looked at me briefly, and then looked into her future quickly.

"Three minutes, 23 seconds. I wouldn't doubt she could hear you right now." she then proceeded to leave the room. A new gleam in her eye, from which I assumed was from Bella getting granted the wish of immortality.

"Bella, love. I know you can hear me, so please listen. Bella, I love you with every fiber of my being. That day…in the forest," my voice traveled off in pain and remembrance. I continued, "that day…was all lies. I only did it for protection, but I can see now that that was just one big mistake. And then you started hanging out with wolves!", I sighed, thinking of all the trouble I put her in. "My little danger magnet. Please be mine again. I'll spend forever and eternity showing you how much I love you. Give me one more chance, I cant lose you." I spoke all of my words in pure truth. I would love to be able to hold her in my arms, kiss her sweet lips, be able to call her mine again.

But with my last sentence I uttered to her, her heart stopped beating.

The one sign that her transformation was over. I looked at her face intently, waiting to see her brow-,_ red _I mean, eyes open. I knew, however, they would still be as deep and beautiful as they were in here human days. And then they would change into a rich golden color.

She jumped up, too quick for me to comprehend, and ran out of the house and into the woods.

"BELLA! COME BACK, BELLA!" I screamed along with my family. I was wasting too much time. I ran after her.

I kept screaming her name, and then I caught her scent. A newborn on the loose was dangerous. Bella could massacre the whole town with her undeniable bloodlust and strength. I also needed to hold Bella in my arms, I already had the feeling of pain without her. I heard my family briefly behind me.

I saw Bella. She was by a human; who was bleeding. I immediately cut off my air supply in worry of killing the human. I sprinted forward faster and saw Bella running away from it. Probably because she didn't want to kill a human and the scent was too tempting. She has such amazing self control.

I ran after her once again, and once I found my love, I wasn't going to let her go. Oh, my Bella.

I finally caught up to her and locked my arms around her waist in an iron grip. She looked at me with shock. But the red irises I was expecting didn't show. Neither did the black or golden eyes I've only seen on vampires before.

Her eyes were chocolate brown.

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**REVIEW IF YOU LIKED THIS! I OF COURSE AM STARTING SCHOOL, SO CHAPTERS WILL BE UPDATED…GOD KNOWS WHEN;). ****I WILL BE U[DATING THE STORIES I HAVE WRITTEN WITH THE MOST REVIEWS, SO PRESS THE LITTLE GREEN BUTTON ON THE BOTTOM OF THE PAGE AND LEAVE ME SOME FEEDBACK! IT WOULD BE APPRECIATED.**

**AND JUST A SIDENOTE, I WAS THINKING TODAY (BIG WHOOP WHOOP FOR THINKING!) AND IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT, THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN EDWARD AND BELLA IS COMPLETELY ODD! HES LIKE WHAT…100 YEARS OLDER THAN HER! WOULDN'T THAT BE ILLEGAL? OH I DON'T KNOW! HAHAA**

**LOVE TO ALL MY READERS**

**MONKEYS-LOVE-NANNERS**


	4. Chapter 4

Hey Everyone.

I made my own story called, 'My Trademark,' on fanfictionpress. Check it out and review.

P.S. Im making anew story for Twilight and the first chapter should be coming out soon!

My username on fanfictionpress is EveBonet91210. Please check out my story and tell me if you like!

Love to all'

Monkeys love nanners


	5. Help me pick a story

**Okay, guys, thought I was dead? Wrong! **

**I've been wondering what story you would like me to make a new chapter on. Tomorrow, I'm home the whole day and I'll be really bored, so give me TWO STORIES you want to me to write tomorrow!**

**Please help me pick! **

**-monkeys-loves-nanners**


	6. PLEASEE!

_**PLEASEE! READ! **_

_**You guys! I know you think I've been dead! I HAVENT! **_

_**Listen, I need some ideas for my stories! I'm coming up blank! If you give me an idea and I like it, I'll give you a shout out and all that jazz!**_

_**Tell me which stories you like the best, and I can retype them and add some more new chapters. I feel so bad for not updating as frequently as I used to! D: So please, help me out! I HATE PUTTING YOU GUYS THROUGH THIS! **_

_**If I fail you like this ever again, I'm even giving you permission to get mad at me and write mean stuff! But please, leave a review or send a pm! **_

_**PLEASE! PLEASE!PLEASE!**_

_**-monkeys-love-nanners**_

_**PLEASE**_

_**Prologue**_

_**I, myself, always had thought I had a great group of my friends. Some girls, some boys. I always thought of them as being really trustworthy people. Even through out the years, by no means, on how many fights we got into, or how much stuff we were disagreeing on, we always seemed to move beyond that.**_

_**Always.**_

_**I guess I was wrong.**_

_**Chapter 1**_

"_**Its about time," I complained to my best friend, Elizabeth. "I mean, I don't know how much longer I could've put up with all those icky sixth graders."**_

"_**Ann, you are a sixth grader," she reminded me.**_

"_**Well, not anymore." I said happily while we walked the halls of our elementary school.**_

_**Finally, we were going to be in the eighth grade! That means, no more being treated like a kid. It was summer '09, bahy! And I was going to enjoy it with Elizabeth, and as many of my friends as possible. **_

_**Elizabeth, or as I like to call her 'Liz', have always been the friends. But that wasn't until fifth grade, when we finally pronounced to each other we were best friends. Liz had beautiful shoulder length hair and gorgeous amber eyes. She was short at the height of 5'5, just like me, but that was considered an average girl height in Ohio. Actually, Elizabeth and I were very advanced for our age, her being more so than me. But we understood things better than a normal 12 year old would, or so I thought. We ranged ourselves in the high school category…not to sound cocky or anything. Sometimes I have a bad habit of doing that. Sorry.**_

"_**We need **_**to have at the very least, three sleepovers." Liz told me as we passed fellow classmates walking in the opposite direction. I recognized some. They were considered, more or less, in the popular crowd. We weren't so into that, but of course you had to know their names since they were just **_**so**_** amazing. Blak.**

"**Deal," I told her looking in her eyes.**

**We made our way out to the busses, and silent departed with a few blubbery goodbyes and a big hug, and made our ways in the opposite direction, not looking back once, knowing that if we did, we'd just be running back into each other's arms. That was one of the many things considered the same about us, we were both very stubborn. We didn't want to admit when the other one was right, and we were wrong. I don't know if that's just Liz and I, or human nature, but either way, we were stubborn as males. And proud of it, too.**

**I guess you could call me a sarcastic person. But, honestly, what kind of person doesn't have sarcastic moments? I just tend to have them more regularly, nothing wrong with that. **

**Once I reached the **_**'oh so'**_** comfortable leather seat of the bus, I took my ipod out and drowned myself in the music, getting lost in certain beats and rhythms and lyrics. **

**I was dropped off at home about 10 minutes later, and once I was, immediately I remembered to turn on my phone which was in back pocket. I have such a horrible memory sometimes, Liz often teases me about it. Oh well.**

**My phone buzzed on to see I had a new test message from Liz. **

_**Hey, can we have a sleepover ASAP? I have something to tell you.'**_

**What? Why couldn't she just tell me at school? Of course, I had no rising suspicions except something was wrong.**

_**Sure! Lemme just ask my parents, k?**_

**That night, I talked to my mom and step dad, even though I looked at him as more of my father figure, and asked if we could have a sleepover. They both rave about how such a sweetheart she is all the time. I will admit sometimes I do get jealous because I think my parents love her more than me, but push those thoughts away when I realize I'm just acting insecure.**


	7. you NEED to read

Okay guys, your gonna be mad.

Some of my biggest stories….well…I don't know if I have much creativity left for them.

I'm probably gonna be glued to my computer for the whole day. I might start a new story, depending on what you guys want. Something you want me to write about for twilight, a certain plot. I'll write it if I like it, and I absolutely promise to update atleast twice a month.

If your review name is anonymous or not, I'll shout out for you. Please. I feel bad, and I want to type something and quit disappointing you guys! Ugh! Lol.

Please tell me in the review or PM what you want.

PLEASE!

-mln


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